


Still Standing

by finnshavocado



Series: Analogical and Royality AU [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Acephobia, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Avoidance, Coming Out, Cuddling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, HAPPY ENDING THO!, Hurt/Comfort, Insomnia, JUST, Lack of Sleep, Lots of Angst, Lots of Crying, M/M, Misgendering, Nbphobia, OKAY I THINK THAT'S EVERYTHING, Occasional swearing, Panic Attack, Swearing, Threats, Transphobia, Unsympathetic Remus, a lil bit of violence?, and logan's just trying to exist, anxiety attack, avoiding others, basically deceit and remus are being blatant assholes, distancing oneself, duke don't look, firstly, heed the warnings, it was in regards to remus, it's for good reason tho, misgendering (unknowingly), nonbinaryphobia, not sure i'd call it that, okay let's get down to business, one (1) mention of something sexual, outing someone, purposeful misgendering, purposely outing someone, roman pins remus against the wall, self deprecation, self doubt, slight aphobia, there's a lot here, tl:dr: deceit and remus are assholes and logan is just trying to live their best life, unsympathetic Deceit, with his sword to remus's neck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-11
Updated: 2020-02-11
Packaged: 2021-02-28 07:07:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22659832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/finnshavocado/pseuds/finnshavocado
Summary: Logan's supposed to be the smartest side, but there were still things Logan didn’t know, and that stressed Logan out. Especially when it came to one specific topic. One little thing.Was there something wrong with them?
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Analogical and Royality AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1615207
Comments: 8
Kudos: 70





	Still Standing

**Author's Note:**

> *cracks knuckles* alright guys gals and nonbinary pals don't forget to read the tags 'cause there are a lot of warnings for this bad boy and they're all in there. the most important ones are unsympathetic deceit and remus, nbphobia/transphobia, purposely outing someone, a panic attack, someone coming out, and purposeful misgendering.  
> hope you enjoy!  
> Side note! This is set in the same timeline as the proposal fics!

If Logan had anything to be proud of, it was knowledge.  
It was, of course, Logan’s purpose as Thomas’s Logical side. Keep everything Thomas knew stored away, and help him learn new things. Logan even knew things Thomas didn’t- especially about stars and space in and of itself. Logan loved space.  
But there were still things Logan didn’t know, and that stressed Logan out. Especially when it came to one specific topic. Many recent nights had been spent laying awake wondering about this one thing. One little thing.   
Logan didn’t know whether or not it made sense for one of Thomas’s sides to *not* be a cis male, like Thomas himself.  
Objectively, it would make sense that every side shared Thomas’s gender and sexuality. Yet since Logan and Virgil had long since figured out that they were both asexual/homoromantic and *not* just homosexual (though Roman and Patton were both homosexual), it was plainly obvious that the latter wasn’t true.  
But gender? That was where Logan wasn’t sure.   
Which made it all the more confusing that Logan had recently realized that they were nonbinary themselves.  
Logan had no doubt in their mind that Thomas was accepting of nonbinary people- for god’s sake, two of his closest friends were nonbinary. But how could one of Thomas’s sides be nonbinary? Thomas was very comfortable with his identity as a cis male. Did Logan’s own identity as nonbinary mean that Thomas might be nonbinary, or was it possible that there was something-  
Something wrong with Logan themself?  
It hurt them to consider that possibility, especially since they felt obvious pangs of growing dysphoria whenever one of the other Sides referred to them as a male. Of course, there was no way they could know that Logan was nonbinary, so they weren’t at fault, but it didn’t make it hurt any less.  
Logan had started shutting themself off more than they had before, mainly to avoid the inevitable misgendering. They knew it hurt Virgil to see them this distant, but Logan was confused and conflicted. They desperately wanted to tell their fiancé what was wrong, but they were also terrified of Virgil pushing them away in response.   
Because even if Virgil accepted Logan for who they were, there was no guarantee Virgil would still love them. Virgil was homoromantic- at least, that’s what Logan expected. Would Virgil still love them?  
All these thought processes had been what lead to Logan currently lying on their bed, wide awake, staring at the glow-in-the-dark stars taped to their ceiling, at three in the morning.   
This was not a new thing. Logan had been having many late, sleepless nights between their internal crisis and doing their normal duties for Thomas.   
Logan let out a sigh and closed their eyes in an attempt to fall asleep. They had to sleep eventually, and they hoped tonight would be that night.   
“You do know that isn’t going to do you any good.”  
Logan’s eyes snapped back open as he recognized the voice almost immediately. “Deceit,” they called out dryly. “What are you doing here?”  
Deceit hummed. “Why am I here? Logan, out of every side, I would expect you to know. You are supposed to be the smartest after all.”  
“I am the smartest,” Logan grumbled.   
“Hm. Then how are you so conflicted about such a simple issue?”  
Logan sat up in bed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”  
Deceit laughed. “Oh, of course, you don’t. It’s not like I can tell when Sides are lying, anyway.”  
Logan’s mouth went dry.   
Deceit pulled at his gloves. “Don’t have anything to say? Understandable. Just as understandable as you thinking that it’s even remotely viable for any of Thomas’s sides to have a different gender than him. I mean, I definitely didn’t have my suspicions about the sexuality issue, but Remus isn’t the most sexual out of all of us…”  
“Shut up,” Logan replied hoarsely. “I could never expect you to share the same opinions as everyone else.”  
“Ah yes, but you forget that I can’t tell when Sides lie.”  
“Deceit.”  
“They’re definitely going to accept you, Logan. Virgil will absolutely love you for who you are. They won’t cast you out for having a different gender than Thomas.”  
“DECEIT!” Logan grabbed one of their pillows and threw it as hard as he could at the lying side, who promptly disappeared before it hit, then reappeared a few feet away.  
Deceit just smirked. “All I’m saying is, you won’t be miserable for the rest of Thomas’s life. Everything is going to be fine.”  
“Get out,” Logan muttered.   
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you…”  
And he was gone.  
Logan sat in bed, unmoving, not even bothering to pick up their pillow.  
It was going to be another restless night.

At around 7 am the following morning, about an hour before Patton was likely to wake up, Logan dragged themself up and out of bed. Better to get breakfast now and avoid any unnecessary interactions while they could.   
They had decided to try and be a little less reclusive that day, just to try and lessen the concern the others were obviously feeling towards them. It wasn’t going to be the easiest thing, but they admittedly missed Virgil and wanted to try and enjoy some time with him. They were supposed to get married in a couple of months anyway, and while most of the wedding planning was ready to go, they knew there were going to be things Virgil would come up with that would need to be addressed.  
Of course, Logan had things they wanted to have addressed, but those were things that would require them coming out first. Which wasn’t exactly a viable option. Especially after… Deceit.  
Deceit had been speaking in lies. Which meant that the opposites of those lies were true, right?  
Logan was even more terrified of coming out now than they had been before.   
They felt like crying. All of their desperate desires contradicted themselves. They wanted to spend time with Virgil, but they didn’t want to be consistently misgendered. They wanted to come out, but they didn’t want Virgil or the others to push them away.  
Logan tried their best not to think about that as they went down to the kitchen, thinking instead of the things they had to get done today for Thomas. They had been focusing more on work lately than ever before, so… there was less work to do.  
Which meant more time to stress over personal problems.   
Logan trudged down the stairs, fully expecting the kitchen to be empty.  
They were instead met with the sight of their fiancé sitting on the counter, legs pulled up to their chest, eating a granola bar.  
Logan froze, fully intending to quickly move back up the stairs, but Virgil saw them before they could.  
Virgil’s eyes lit up. “Lo! You’re actually out of your room!”  
Logan swallowed down the lump in their throat before they replied. “Indeed. I apologize, I’ve been rather busy lately.”  
Virgil frowned, slowly moving off the counter. “Yeah, but you’re busy all the time, and yet you always have made time to do other things- like, ya know, date nights.”  
“I know, Virgil, and I am sorry. A lot of things have come up.”  
“Is it anything I can help you with?”  
God, I wish. “Not really. It’s… stuff that I have to handle.”  
Virgil didn’t look convinced- if nothing else, more concerned. “Lo,” he said softly. “It almost seems like something’s been bothering you lately. We can all tell.”  
“I assure you, Virgil, everything’s fine.”  
It was then that Logan noticed that Deceit was suddenly standing a few feet behind Virgil, and the color drained from their face.   
“He’s definitely telling the truth, Virgil.”  
Virgil turned around so fast he almost fell over. “Deceit. You have no place in this conversation.”  
“As I’ve told your dashing future husband, I definitely cannot tell when one of Thomas’s Sides is telling a lie, Virgil. And since Logan is not blatantly lying to you, I can see how I don’t have a place in this conversation.”  
“If he is lying, it isn’t your place to tell him when and how he should tell me the truth,” Virgil growled.   
“Even if he’s hurting Thomas in the process?”  
The air went silent. Virgil stiffened, and Logan thought they were going to pass out.  
“Logan would not purposely hurt Thomas,” Virgil snarled. “I don’t know what kind of bullshit you’re trying to make me believe, but again, I know my fiancé. He would never hurt our host.”  
Logan clamped their hand over their mouth, willing the tears poking through their eyes to go back where they came from.  
Deceit just laughed. “You keep telling yourself that, Virgil. Just don’t say I didn’t warn you.”  
Deceit sank out, and Virgil glared at the spot the Side was standing before turning around.  
“Lo!”  
Logan was pale, shaky, and about to collapse. Virgil moved forward to support the other before their legs completely gave out and they fell to the ground.  
Virgil sank down with them, pulling Logan into his chest. “Breathe, Lo. Breathe.”  
A whimper escaped Logan’s mouth as they buried their face in Virgil’s chest. Virgil held them close as the singular cry evolved into wet sobbing.   
“Let it out, starlight. You’re okay,” Virgil whispered, slightly taken aback at his partner’s sudden breakdown, but ready to comfort him all the same. “Do you wanna move to your room?”  
Through the sobs, Virgil felt a nod against his chest, and he carefully sunk the two of them out and into Logan’s room.  
The anxious side was not at all expecting the state of Logan’s room to be what it was. Their bed was askew, papers were scattered all over their desk, and their bookshelves were overflowing and not at all organized as they usually were.   
Something was definitely wrong.   
Virgil decided not to focus on that at the moment though, instead focusing on consoling his partner, whose cries were beginning to die down a little. He carefully kept the Side held close, murmuring gentle reassurances as they sniffled and let out shaky breaths.   
After they finally had calmed down enough, Logan pulled away, hands pressed against their eyes as they wiped away the residual tears.   
Virgil put his hands on their arms. “Lo, what’s wrong?”  
Logan sighed and ran their hands over their face again. “I can’t- Virge, I-”  
The lump in their throat threatened to start the whole process of breaking down all over again.   
Virgil wrapped his hand around the back of Logan’s neck. “Hey. Hey, look at me.” Logan managed to bring their gaze up to meet Virgil’s. “Lo, whatever it is, I’m not gonna judge you for it. You can talk to me, okay? I love you, no matter what, and I can help you figure this out.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“I’ve never been more certain in my life. I want to help you.”  
Logan’s hands started shaking, and Virgil took them in his hands, squeezing them encouragingly. Logan swallowed, trying to suppress the butterflies swarming around their stomach.  
“I…” Logan managed to start. “I believe…”  
Virgil squeezed their hands. Logan let out a shaky breath.   
“I believe that… I am nonbinary.”  
Virgil’s eyes widened, and Logan felt like their heart was going to stop beating.   
“Lo,” he whispered. “Oh, Lo. That explains everything, doesn’t it?”   
Virgil pulled Logan into his arms again, and Logan stiffened slightly but leaned into the touch.  
Virgil ran his hand through Logan’s hair and took a deep breath. “Lo, listen to me, okay? I don’t quite know how the others are going to react to this news, especially after seeing how Deceit clearly thinks. But I am going to love and support you no matter what. You’re valid, and just because Thomas is a cis guy doesn’t mean you aren’t allowed to be nonbinary. You’re not hurting him or any of the rest of us. In fact, I hate the fact that you’ve been hurting yourself over this.”  
Logan was choked up… again. They buried their face in Virgil’s chest as the tears starting flowing for the second time that morning.   
Virgil just held Logan against him as the Side finally let themself let out emotions they had been pushing down for weeks as they had worked through this personal crisis. The anxious Side pressed kisses occasionally against their head as tears even worked their way out of his own eyes as he realized just how much pain his fiancé had been in.  
Logan moved before they had even calmed down, hooking their chin over Virgil’s shoulder as they pressed closer to him, wrapping their arms around Virgil’s chest. “I thought I was going to lose you,” they whispered tearfully. “I thought you- I thought you would-”  
Virgil carefully pulled the side away from him just to lean forward and catch their lips in a careful yet impassioned kiss.   
After they pulled away, Virgil leaned his forehead against Logan’s. “I would never,” he whispered. “I could never. I meant every word I said when I got down on one knee that night.” Virgil found Logan’s hand and ran his fingers over the ring on their ring finger. He placed his other hand on Logan’s cheek. “I love you for who you are, and I always will, Lo.”  
Logan then took the opportunity to initiate a kiss this time, one that lasted a few seconds longer than the last before Virgil gently pulled Logan back into his arms again afterward. The other side, now thoroughly exhausted, leaned against Virgil’s shoulder.   
“So,” Virgil murmured. “Pronouns?”  
“They/them,” Logan whispered hoarsely in response.  
“What would you prefer me to refer to you as, in terms of our relationship? Like, spouse? Partner?”  
“Partner is fine.”  
Virgil nodded, pressing his face against the top of Logan’s head. “Is there a different name you wanna use?”  
Logan didn’t respond at first, but then, “I- I have been thinking about that, and truthfully, I do not mind Logan. Besides, it is also the representation of who I am as a Side… and I do appreciate how well it goes along with Logic.”  
“Mmm. Yeah, I agree.”  
Logan just sighed and relaxed even more into Virgil’s hold.   
Virgil swallowed. “What… what do you want me to do in front of Roman and Patton for now?”  
Logan paused, then slowly pulled away from Virgil. “I… I am not sure,” they admitted quietly. “I now need to re-evaluate whether it would be a logical choice to tell them…”  
Virgil bit his lip in thought. “In my opinion… I don’t think they’re going to care either. Again, it’s hard to tell when Deceit is our only comparison… but it’s also Deceit. He’s kinda an ass.”  
“You’re not wrong.”  
“The only way we’re going to know how they feel is by flat out telling them, Lo. You don’t have to do it now, but there’s no way we’ll be able to tell before you do.”  
“Yeah, you’re right.” Logan wiped their eyes. “I think… it’s better to rip the metaphorical band-aid off.”  
Virgil grinned. “Idiom.”  
“Indeed, I have been doing a slight bit of research.”   
“Proud of you.”  
Logan blushed furiously, and Virgil laughed.  
However, taking in the appearance of his partner more than he had before, Virgil came to a startling discovery.  
“Lo,” he murmured. “Starlight, you look exhausted. How much sleep have you been getting?”  
Logan grimaced. “Not enough.”  
“Define ‘not enough’.”  
“Maybe… 4 or 5 hours on good nights,” they responded weakly. “On bad nights… none at all.”  
“How many bad nights have there been?”  
“Too many…”  
“Was last night a bad night?”  
Logan just nodded, eyes flickering closed. Virgil sighed and pulled them into his arms. “Alright then, sleep first, then tell Pat and Ro.”  
“Agreed.”  
Virgil carefully helped Logan stand on wobbly legs, and then lead them over to their bed. “Want me to stay with you?” Virgil asked.  
“I would very much prefer that… how much sleep did you get last night?”  
Virgil winced. “I think I fell asleep at like… two. And woke up at 6:30.”  
“You should sleep too, then,” Logan nodded as the two of them climbed into Logan’s bed.  
“Yeah, you’ve got a point.”  
Logan practically collapsed as they laid down. Virgil pulled them into his chest and they nuzzled into him.   
They were asleep within minutes. Virgil relaxed to the feeling of his partner’s chest rising and falling rhythmically.  
Virgil then decided it would be smart to let Patton know that the two of them wouldn’t be up and around for a while, and pulled out his phone.

'Hey, Pat, neither Lo nor I got very much sleep last night so we’re gonna try and get some right now.'

'Oh, thank goodness, I’ve been worried about him. Is he doing okay?'

Virgil winced inwardly as Patton used the wrong pronouns, but he digressed. Patton didn’t know any better yet.

'Yeah, everything’s good now, or will be. It’s just been a rough few weeks.'

'Poor Lo. Do you know why?'

'Yeah. Not something I can discuss right now. Trust me, everything’s gonna be okay. Lo will tell you when the time is right.'

'Sounds good, kiddo. Is he asleep right now?'

'Yeah, it didn’t take too long.'

'I’m not surprised. I’m glad you’re there with him. How much sleep did either of you two get last night anyway?'

'Four and a half hours between us.'

'How much of that was him?'

'Do you really want to know?'

'He didn’t get any, did he?'

'Correct.'

'Oh, poor kiddo. We’ll let you two sleep as long as you need, okay?'

'Thanks, Pat. Talk to you later.'

'You too, Virge. Sleep well!'

Virgil turned off his phone, set it aside, and leaned back into Logan, appreciating finally getting to hold them again after a few weeks of them holing themself away.  
He too fell asleep within minutes.

Patton let out a soft sigh as he turned his own phone off and put it down on the counter beside the stove. He was making pancakes and was relieved that Virgil had texted him about the fact that he and Logan were going back to bed before he had really started the process. Saved him from making too much batter!  
As he started pulling out the various ingredients he needed, he heard someone clumsily make their way down the stairs. He turned around right as Roman, still in pajamas and with a bad case of bed head, stumbled into the kitchen, stretching and yawning.  
Patton giggled. “Good morning, Sleeping Beauty.”  
“Good morning, my Prince,” Roman murmured, coming over and catching Patton for a kiss. “What’s for breakfast?”  
“Pancakes.”  
Roman nodded, then squinted at the bowl. “That doesn’t seem like a whole lot of batter.”  
“Yeah, Virgil and Logan are getting more sleep. Seems like neither of them slept too well last night.”  
“Oh, is the Microsoft Nerd finally opening himself back up again?”  
“Hopefully. It seems like he’s been having a rough time lately, but Virgil must’ve gotten him to talk about it.”  
“Mmm. That’s good.” Roman hopped onto the counter a few feet away and stretched again. “We can call this a date morning, then.”  
Patton smiled. “I would love that. Why don’t you set the table, then?”  
“Will do.” Roman hopped off the counter and started rummaging through the cupboards, bringing out their nicer plates and silverware. Patton hummed softly as he finished making the batter and then starting pouring it onto the pan in front of him.  
As he finished with the pancakes and turned around, Patton gasped softly at the setup on the table. Roman had added flowers and candles to the setup of plates and forks.  
“Aww, Ro,” he gushed. “That’s so romantic.”  
“It is my specialty,” Roman grinned. He had managed to get his hair to settle some but was still in pajamas. Not that Patton minded, of course.  
The two of them sat down at the table and talked as they ate their breakfast. It was a peaceful and quiet morning, and they couldn’t have asked for anything more.  
As they finished up, Roman stood up and grabbed their plates, bringing them over to the sink to do the dishes. Patton pulled out his phone and started checking a few things.  
Suddenly, their peaceful, quiet morning was very suddenly interrupted by a very unwanted guest.  
Remus suddenly popped into existence, sitting at the table across from Patton, where Roman had been sitting only a moment ago.  
Remus stretched and yawned, and both Roman and Patton jerked their heads to look at him. Roman’s face quickly dissolved into one of disgust.  
“What a morning!” Remus groaned. “It’s too early for this kind of nonsense but Deceit promised me several tubes of Pickled Poo Logs for this.”  
“Get out, Remus,” Roman growled.  
“Aw, Ro,” Remus pouted. “You’re no fun. Don’t you wanna hear the news I have?”  
“Do you really think I care?”  
“Maybe you don’t, but I know Padré over here might, especially after that conversation he had with Virgil earlier.”  
Patton stood up from the table. “That’s none of your business.”  
“None of my business? Hey, if deodorant is on the line, anything’s my business.”  
“Remus, get the fuck out,” Roman snarled.   
“Not until you two settle down and hear me out.”  
“Why should we?” Patton demanded.  
“Because your logical friend is hurting our host, and while I typically don’t care about that kind of thing, Dee Dee does and so here I am.”  
Patton narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean, Logan’s hurting Thomas?”  
“He thinks it’s appropriate for him to be nonbinary when Thomas is a very happy cis guy and-”  
Before Remus could continue, Roman had summoned his sword, charged at Remus, effectively pinning his brother against the wall of the kitchen with his sword to his neck.  
Remus looked Roman in the eyes and smirked at the fury rampaging through them. “Oh, what’s the matter, dear brother? Did I hit a nerve?”  
Roman was almost too pissed off to speak but managed to find his voice. “Our host is a gay man,” Roman snarled. “You, out of all people, should know how damaging it is to purposefully out someone else. Did Logan give you permission? Because I’m guessing not.”  
“You know me so well. In fact, Logie didn’t even tell me that information directly. You can thank Dee Dee for that.”   
Roman slammed Remus back into the wall again, pressing the sword into his neck more. “You have no place to be sharing that information. Now get the fuck out before I decide to actually use this damn thing.”  
Remus held his hands up in surrender, and Roman backed up slightly, only enough to give the Side room to sink out while still being able to pin him down if he needed.  
And as soon as Remus was gone, Roman turned back around to Patton, who was looking pale.  
“Do you think-” Patton started, looking Roman in the eye. “Do you think that’s why Lo has been so… reclusive?”  
“If Remus was telling the truth, then I’d say yeah,” Roman sighed, his sword vanishing from his hands.   
Patton didn’t speak for a few moments. “Ro… what if he thinks we… we wouldn’t support him? What if he-”  
Roman moved over and took Patton by the hands, looking him in the eyes. Patton looked back up at him.  
“Then we’ll make sure he knows we do.”

The first thing Logan noticed when they finally woke up again later that day, was that they felt much more refreshed and awake than they had in weeks.  
Logan slowly sat up, glancing over at his clock. 3:04pm. They had slept for 7 and a half hours. That was more than they’d gotten that every night that week combined.  
The second thing they noticed was that Virgil was no longer laying in bed with them.  
Slight panic ran through Logan at that revelation. What if he decided to leave me? What if he doesn’t actually support me? What if-  
All the anxious thoughts went away as soon as they caught sight of Virgil sitting on the edge of their bed, staring down at their phone.   
But as soon as Logan noticed that Virgil’s hands were shaking, worry came crashing back down on them.  
“Virge?” Logan called softly. “What’s wrong?”  
Virgil didn’t respond at first, but then finally turned around so Logan could see the look on his face.  
Virgil was furious.  
“Lo,” he started, surprisingly calm. “How are you feeling?”  
“Better now,” Logan responded slowly. “But what’s wrong?”  
“I think it’s better for you to just read what Patton just texted me. Here, start with the conversation we had earlier.  
Virgil handed Logan his phone, and Logan started reading over the texts.  
Virgil caught the exact moment Logan finished reading the texts from that morning and started reading the conversation he and Patton had been having just then.   
Because Logan’s face went completely pale and they started shaking worse than Virgil had been.

'Hey, Virge… we had a surprise visit from Remus a few hours ago.'

'Wait, what? What happened?'

'He popped in while we were eating breakfast and said some stuff that he really shouldn’t have about Lo.'

'What. Did. He. Say.'

'That Logan thinks he’s nonbinary, and that Lo was hurting Thomas as a result, which obviously isn’t true.'

Logan dropped the phone on their bed. “Oh god,” they whispered. “Oh, god, Virge.”  
Virgil knew the signs of an anxiety attack when he saw them, and he was now seeing them in his partner as their breathing started getting erratic and the shaking got worse. Virgil quickly moved over, taking Logan’s hands in his.   
“Lo, hey, hey. Breathe. Breathe with me.” Virgil squeezed Logan’s hands. “Breathe.”  
Logan was struggling with that one simple task, and they began to feel faint.  
“Lo, I’m gonna have you lay down again, okay? I need you to focus on me.”  
Virgil carefully helped them lay back down, keeping them on their side. Virgil put their hand against his chest.  
“Okay, Lo, can you try and match my breathing? I’m gonna walk you through the breathing exercise, okay? In for four.”   
Virgil counted softly as he also went along with the exercise, trying to help Logan calm down. The other Side barely managed to follow along.  
“Hold for seven.”  
He counted, noting that Logan let out a wheezy breath at 5 seconds in. Tears were streaming down his face. “That’s alright, starlight. You’re okay.”  
The two of them ran through the exercise several times, and slowly, Logan’s breathing went back to relatively normal. The tears continued to fall through the entire time.   
As soon as Logan had mostly recovered from their sudden panic attack, they squeezed Virgil’s hand, and Virgil carefully helped them sit up.  
“You good?” Virgil asked softly.  
“As good as I could be,” Logan whispered, their voice shaky, tears still present in their eyes.  
“I’m going to murder Remus on your behalf.”  
Logan laughed shakily, but it didn’t seem very genuine, more bitter. Virgil pulled them into his arms again.  
Logan put their head on Virgil’s shoulder. “I wasn’t even certain I was ready to tell them,” they whispered tearfully. “Remus took- he took that away from me.”  
Virgil rocked back and forth gently. “I know, Lo. He was so incredibly out of place he was standing a mile away from where he should’ve been. Deceit was in the same spot.”  
They were interrupted by a soft knock on Logan’s door. Logan pulled themself out of Virgil’s arms, and Virgil gave him a look that said ‘It’s your choice.’  
Logan raised a trembling hand, snapped, and the door creaked open.  
Patton and Roman were standing in the doorway, concern etched on both of their faces.   
“Sorry, Virge,” Patton murmured. “You just hadn’t responded to my text and we got worried.”  
“It’s fine, Pat.” Virgil squeezed Logan’s hand.   
Logan was avoiding the gazes of the other two sides. Patton bit his lip. “Can we come in?” he asked softly.  
Logan nodded.  
The two of them walked in, and Roman quietly shut the door behind him. They sat down on the bed on either side of Virgil and Logan.  
Patton carefully put his hand on Logan’s shoulder, giving them the opportunity to pull away if they needed. Logan didn’t move.  
“Lo,” Patton murmured. “You don’t need to tell us right away if what Remus told us was true.”  
“But we both want you to know that we’ll be here for you no matter what,” Roman added. “Your gender doesn’t change that. You’re still family.”  
“And you are not hurting Thomas by being nonbinary,” Patton insisted softly. “No matter what Remus or Deceit says.”  
Tears pressed at Logan’s eyes, and Patton summoned a box of tissues and held them out. Logan took one and pressed it to their eyes.  
“I know,” Logan whispered. “I know. And… you both deserve to know that Remus was not communicating a falsehood. I am nonbinary.” Roman took one of Logan’s hands from Virgil. “I was planning to tell you this afternoon anyway if I could work up the courage.” Another bitter laugh. “At least I don’t need to worry about that anymore.”  
“Remus shouldn’t have told us that information without your permission, Lo,” Roman murmured. “One would expect that he would understand at least that much.”  
Logan grabbed another tissue from Patton as they lost control of their tears. Patton set the tissues aside and pulled Logan into a hug. Virgil and Roman both joined, surrounding them on all sides with warmth and love.  
Logan cried for a good, long while, more than they had yet that day (which was saying something). Their famILY didn’t let them go the whole time, just holding them close.  
When Logan was ready, the others released them from the tight hug, letting them regain their composure. It took a few minutes and about five more tissues before they managed to speak up again.  
Logan took in a shuddery breath. “Thank you,” they whispered. “I- I cannot thank you all enough for being accepting.”  
“Of course, Lo,” Roman took their hand again. He then suddenly perked up. “Ohana! Ohana means family, and family means no one gets left behind or forgotten. You’re ohana, Lo. You always have been. We’d never let you down.”  
Logan actually let out a genuine laugh this time at the Disney reference. Patton smiled and took ahold of their other hand. “And it’s a good thing you actually are coming out because otherwise, the cake I made would’ve been for nothing.”  
Logan gave Patton an incredulous look. “You made a cake?”  
“Yeah! Even though it was an exceptionally unconventional coming out that wasn’t even on your own terms, it still deserves to be a celebration, because that’s what coming out is! A celebration of you!”  
Logan grabbed another tissue. “I- thank you, Patton,” they whispered.   
“It’s my pleasure, Lo. Now, important question- what are your pronouns?”  
“They/them. Though I still am gonna go by Logan.”  
“That sounds magnificent, and while I may slip up a few times at first, I’ll try my best to adapt,” Roman declared, getting off of the bed. Logan nodded. “Now, I declare a famILY movie night tonight. Logan gets first pick but I already have several movies in mind for afterward.”  
“Oh, god,” Virgil muttered.   
“What? I assure you, they’re appropriate for today’s celebration.” Roman then walked out of the room, singing ‘Show Yourself’ from Frozen 2.  
“I do hope he does not intend to pirate that movie, I would not appreciate Thomas going to jail today,” Logan muttered.  
“Don’t worry, kiddo, I wouldn’t let him if he did want to. He can wait a few more weeks for it to come out on DVD.” Patton also stood up, a smile on his face. “I’ll let you two get ready for the day.”  
“Thanks, Patton,” Logan nodded as the moral Side also left the room.  
Virgil and Logan then looked at each other. Virgil reached his hand up and wiped away some of the tear tracks still on Logan’s face.   
“That went better than I expected,” Logan confessed softly.   
“Besides the Disney reference, yeah, I agree.”  
Logan snorted. “Hey, at least it was actually relevant.”  
“Yeah, we can give him that.” Virgil stood up and held out a hand, helping Logan up as well.   
Logan stood up, leaned into Virgil, and gently kissed him. Virgil happily kissed him back.  
“God, I can’t wait to marry you,” Virgil murmured afterward. “My amazing, incredible nonbinary partner.”  
Logan furiously blushed. “I concur,” they agreed.  
The two of them then began to prepare for their day- well, evening at this point. Despite the slight dread over exactly what movies Roman would be choosing, Logan was honestly looking forward to enjoying the time with their famILY after closing themself off for so long. They would be reminded again and again just how lucky they were to have all of them. The evening would be filled with cake and spaghetti, Big Hero Six and Love, Simon.  
Yeah, maybe there were some things Logan didn’t know. But now… now they were certain that their family would love them all the same, no matter what.  
Cause it didn’t matter what anyone else thought. Logan was Logan, and Logan was happy.   
And as long as they knew they weren’t hurting anyone else in the process, they could embrace that.

**Author's Note:**

> well, this was a fun piece to write! I haven't written blatant Logan angst before, so here we are. I'm also a sucker for nonbinary!Logan too so this was kinda a no-brainer. God, I love him(them).  
> anyway, I hope you enjoyed it cause I enjoyed writing it. I promise not to be as mean to Lo in the future!


End file.
